Entertaining Lesson’s Learned and 100 other things about me.
Posted on December 15, 2010
So, this week has been a very hard week. For those of you who know me and those whose photo’s I’ve done; know that I befriend all of my clients. It’s just who I am and my personality.
I love people. I try to do as Jesus would. I am way too trusting. I love everyone until given a reason not to. However, this week, I learned a hard lesson. In some way’s my heart is not as soft anymore, and I have gained a scar. I will no longer consider everyone a friend, not for a long time anyway. You just never know who you are dealing with. I am not naive, but I am very sensitive to others feelings.
I do not hold my tongue if I am provoked. I probably should and that is a big flaw of mine. But, I was changed forever 4 years ago. My mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. After emergency surgery the day before Thanksgiving and what seemed like a LONG time in the ICU and not knowing what the next day held I was changed. My dad was falling apart on me. I became “a bulldog” at that hospital. I had too to get my mom what she needed and to be her spokesperson. I am an only child. It was hard. I didn’t know what tomorrow held. I prayed constantly for over a year and when I say constantly I mean at every waking minute when I wasn’t talking and I was silent, I was praying. Ever since then, what I think, usually spills right out. I overflow without planning to. My filter doesn’t always work. I have a unwaivering faith in God. I do everything for Him.
I do not have a degree in business. I have a degree in art. I am first and foremost God’s daughter, a Mommy and a wife. Then, I have a calling that God has called me to do. I capture memories. I freeze the sweetest moments in time forever, and those that are not so sweet at the time of the picture, they end up being priceless and my favorite pictures. I paint with God’s light through the lens of my camera. I can not talk and take a picture at the same time.
I fly by the seat of my pants on most days. I live for spontaneous moments. I learned that not everyone believes what you say. Not everyone trusts me. That little fact hurts for some reason. My loyalty is hard to shake. Once you become a friend of mine, you are always a friend of mine. I probably shouldn’t be writing this post, but once again I’m overflowing and my filter is not working. Maybe there is somebody else out there who needs to read this and who it might minister to. You never know.
This is just a little bit about me, things that some people don’t know. I will drop everything I am doing to help my friends. I do everything very VERY meticulously and I love LOVE tedious little jobs. I am a perfectionist with my art and the memories that I strive to capture.
I used to be really shy, but God knew what I needed and he gave me Tom and then something transformed me and I am no longer shy at all. However, I do not like to speak in front of large numbers of people. I hate that, and it freaks me out a bit. I despise that word I just used (freaks, freaking) but my filter didn’t catch it. I talk to everybody. I talk to people in the checkout lane, I talk to people on the same shopping aisle as me. I have been known to talk to the people in the lane next to me in my car. Sometimes this trait drives my husband crazy. I am not good at good byes at all. Any kind of goodbye.
I LOVE kids. I feel like a kid still. Sometimes I truly forget that I am 33 years old and I still think I am 19 or maybe even 8. I LOVE to play. Lego’s are one of my favorite toy’s. I love doll houses too, but I struggle with how to play doll house. I love teaching my kids. I love playing with them too. It is the most rewarding and fun thing ever.
I never planned on being a homeschool mom. God always has a sense of humor on me though. Something funny- When I was little, my Uncle and Aunt lived in Dacula with my cousins DeeDee and AJ and when we used to come to their house for birthday parties, or family gatherings it was always so SO loud. I used to say to my parents when we would leave, why are people in Dacula SO loud? Guess, what? I live in Dacula. Know what else, my husband and kids have a volume knob somewhere that is broken and they have one volume, LOUD! Also, I used to ask my parents when I was little why no one ever came from out-of-town to spend the night with us. I always dreamed of out-of-town company and always wanted for some reason to have out-of-town company. Know what? Boy, do I ever have out-of-town company now! By the dozen at a time. Truly, a dozen at a time. This was something VERY hard to get used to. I married into a big family. That is what I get. I love them all and wouldn’t trade it for anything because if I did, I wouldn’t have Tom, or my three sweetest babies in the world. God is funny. And here I am homeschooling. Never planned too, but He told me to, so I did and now I LOVE it. He really does know what’s best. I’m thinking that the lesson that I learned this week is just another one of God’s little pieces of humor. I just haven’t found the humor in it yet. ;-| In more ways than one, and not only on me, but someone else as well.
I know, this is a strange post that I felt compelled to write and it is somewhat healing for me to write down these things. This is like one BIG journal entry. I guess this is what blogging is all about huh?
I get majorly stressed when I am overwhelmed, but at the same time I am scarily laid back, all at the same time. If I were an animal I think I would be a dog or a cat, because if I had a tail and you pulled it I will bite or yell. Like what happened this week. I bit and yelled(kind of) I hate being caught off guard. I love to write but don’t like to talk. I get into my own little world sometimes and become so focused at night when I am working that 3 hours can go by and I don’t even realize it. Then when I do, I am AMAZED; every time too. Every single time I am amazed that that much time went by and I didn’t know.
I am an animal lover. I want to save all stray and ill-treated animals. I live for music and like it loud sometimes. Music is in my soul. It must be trapped though, because I can’t sing worth anything and it’s painful if I try. If I were to be able to choose another talent it would be to be able to sing.
I really really dislike my “pouch” that I carry on my tummy, however, I wear it proudly; as it is my badge of mommyhood, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I do hate to look at it though. My kids love it! They like to blow raspberries in my wrinkly, soft, tummy that looks like a yeast roll that has risen and then fallen. My girls like to pinch it and squeeze it and, let me tell you it does wonders for self-esteem!
My house has clutter, and it drives me crazy, but I can’t win over the battle. I accept it. So, I think I am nearing the end of my journaling. I think that is everything that was on my mind and everything that I wanted to share. I learned a lesson and I haven’t decided if I like the lesson or not. I can’t decipher just yet if God is having a sense of humor on me and on someone else possibly.
Okay, I am off to lose track of time now! Merry Christmas and Have a Holly JOLLY one! And remember God is funny. Look for his humor. (My husband just said that God gave us farts to keep us all humble and to laugh at. Yep, I just said fart in my blog! Oh my!!) LOL
And I leave you with a big piece of sweet! From my boy! What sweet boy-
Translation for those of you who can’t read and decipher kid writing:
Mommy I love you to death
Mom your the wonderfullist mom ever
I this (he meant just) love you to death
Merry Christmas Mommy.
<3
